So the other night I'm at Tag's tavern with the girls knockin' a few back after work. Sad fact is that when you live in a small town the prospects for men are slim to none, add on that your divorced and over thirty...well you get the picture.
Bottom line is any guys that are half a dime worth looking at are teamed up with mangy wives that would skin you just for batting an eyelash at their man. Then you have the regular winos who drink, pass out and do it all over again the next day.
I know Tag's isn't really the place that you're gonna meet the next big thing but since it's the only club in town where you're not sitting next to some guy tossing his cookies on the floor, it'll do. So when you spot fresh blood it's downright exciting.
So like I said we were out this night and in walks this fine piece of man all built, he's no pretty boy, which suits me fine. Anyhow I start doing my classic moves, you know hair flips, laughing a little louder, the works. I'm pulling out all the stops but he's more interested in his buddies then me. Well in the middle of all this mother nature calls and I have to go tinkle. So I take this opportunity to shake my skinny jeans butt to the bathroom making sure I strut like I have a broken hip.
And there's nothing from him, not even a blink. Well I was ticked but I did my business in the bathroom and hit it back to the bar. I'm leaning against the counter thinking about my next move when mister strides up to me. I grin and give him my sexiest "hey". I'm thinking I wish Angie was here to see this guy, cause she's always ragging on me that I'm too old and I'm losing my charm. See Angie's or should I say Angela like she wants me to call her now, is my stuck up sister who married up in the world and she talks all fancy like she was born with a silver spoon in her mouth. She's just a poser married to a doughboy doctor whose balder that Bruce Willis only he's not hot bald and looks more like a hairless flabby Sumo wrestler than anything else.
So anyway this cute guy smells as good as he looks and he leans in real close like, and I'm going nuts, and he whispers in my ear. "Um sorry...but I thought I should tell you that you have toilet paper hanging out of you jeans." I spun around and sure enough I'm strung up like I got a bungee cord leading right to the bathroom. Well all I had to say to him was, "Well you can take the girl out of the bathroom but I guess you can't take the bathroom out of her jeans." He didn't laugh, neither did I...J.
